What I Was Wearing When I Was Raped

On November 10, 1986, while doing a show with sexual abuse victims and their molesters, Oprah revealed to her audience that she was raped by a relative when she was 9 years old.

What could a 9 year old possibly have worn to provoke a sexual assault? Why does the perception change? At what age does it? 15? 17? 18? Once you’re an adult, it seems you have to choose to be raped. Oh but what about the 11 year-old girl in Texas who is “asking for it”?  It seems like you can be a child or an adult, but it will still generally be your own fault for someone else’s genitalia on/in your body.
When it’s 95 degrees F out in the dead of summer, I wear mini skirts. I don’t wear them to attract strange people trying to see my underpants; I wear them because my behind is literally sweating off. It’s my choice to wear that mini skirt, and it’s someone else’s choice to breach social etiquette, respect and common sense to try to touch me because of what I’m wearing. Then it will be my choice to happily sever a hand (or anything really) at the wrist.

On November 10, 1986, while doing a show with sexual abuse victims and their molesters, Oprah revealed to her audience that she was raped by a relative when she was 9 years old.

What could a 9 year old possibly have worn to provoke a sexual assault? Why does the perception change? At what age does it? 15? 17? 18? Once you’re an adult, it seems you have to choose to be raped. Oh but what about the 11 year-old girl in Texas who is “asking for it”?  It seems like you can be a child or an adult, but it will still generally be your own fault for someone else’s genitalia on/in your body.

When it’s 95 degrees F out in the dead of summer, I wear mini skirts. I don’t wear them to attract strange people trying to see my underpants; I wear them because my behind is literally sweating off. It’s my choice to wear that mini skirt, and it’s someone else’s choice to breach social etiquette, respect and common sense to try to touch me because of what I’m wearing. Then it will be my choice to happily sever a hand (or anything really) at the wrist.

"The idea that women "get themselves raped" by wearing short skirts is no more true in Cameroon than it is here. There have been no reports of rapes on the Buea campus that have anything to do with victims wearing scanty outfits. And lawyer Valentine Nij points out,

The concept of lecturers sleeping with students and rape will exist irrespective of how students dress. After all, there are registered cases of young babies who are raped, and this was not as a result of indecent dressing of these babies.

Just another reminder that victim-blaming is a global problem, but common sense — and focusing on the rapist rather than the victim — are a global solution.”


Paris. Johanna Leguerre, AFP/Getty Images / October 1, 2011). GIS from the Sun Sentinel.

Paris. Johanna Leguerre, AFP/Getty Images / October 1, 2011). GIS from the Sun Sentinel.

thisiscatherine:

She was nearly in tears as people passed her; one girl finally hugged her and I couldn’t tell if she was fully crying or not. It was beautiful nonetheless.

thisiscatherine:

She was nearly in tears as people passed her; one girl finally hugged her and I couldn’t tell if she was fully crying or not. It was beautiful nonetheless.

creatrixtiara:

SlutWalk Brisbane represent.
(My sign says “This is what I wore when I was raped. I still did not ask for it.” For reference, I’m wearing a bustier (which is mostly hidden by the sign), a tartan miniskirt, and black gloves. I also had on stockings and boots. That really was what I wore the night I was assaulted :|)

creatrixtiara:

SlutWalk Brisbane represent.

(My sign says “This is what I wore when I was raped. I still did not ask for it.” For reference, I’m wearing a bustier (which is mostly hidden by the sign), a tartan miniskirt, and black gloves. I also had on stockings and boots. That really was what I wore the night I was assaulted :|)

This amazing photo is courtesy of Tom Radenz’ flickr gallery, viewable here. London, June 2011.

This amazing photo is courtesy of Tom Radenz’ flickr gallery, viewable here. London, June 2011.

We Need Your Help

Rape is a taboo that persists in punishing and blaming the victim with little responsibility put on the attacker. That needs to stop. In time, we will post our thoughts and longings on this page. In the meantime, if you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted (male or female) please consider turning that negative experience into a potentially positive, eye-opening and world-changing one.

Please help us post photos, videos, descriptions, art pieces of what you or your loved one wore when s/he was sexually assaulted or raped. Together we can spread the word and force open the dialogue that IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT AND IT NEVER WAS.

Email us your story and media 

I know some people will find this tumblr upsetting and have negative reactions to it, or call women whores or sluts or bitches. That’s fine. You’re the minority and we understand that your mental capabilities are special needs. Keep it to yourself if you can. If you can’t, I’m more than happy to delete your email.

stopvictimblaming@gmail.com

Thank you,

The Editors